This article is about how youths are often unable to deal with death, and how grieving and mentioning death has become an "abstract phantom". After Heath Ledger's death, teenagers "bawled their eyes out", yet when five youth she knew lost a parent, they kept silent. She says that this vast contrast shows how they have stowed away their emotions, unwilling to face reality, instead, diving into denial, guilt and shock. The author said that she herself had problems dealing with her father's death as well, until two years later, after unveiling her well-buried emotions and dealing with them. Death remains a taboo topic, one that many teenagers do not know how to approach, even though death is part and parcel of living.
I, too, believe that teenagers are often unable to handle such touchy issues. Blessed with a pampered life, we are exempt from many obstacles we may otherwise face; obstacles that could shape our character, give us greater resilience and the ability to deal with pain, suffering and loss. I am not implying that a blessed life is of detriment, however, it does make many teenagers complacent of their situation, captivated by the luxuries of life, and we stumble, hesistate and feel depressed at the smallest and most insignificant situations. We indulge in the newest technologies and cool gadgets and derive our joy from them, and with weak emotional foundations, we plunge into severe depression only after having failed our Maths CCT.
When it comes to the crunch time, when we lose things of great value, that we take for granted, such as the loss of a loved one, we clam up. We are inevitably shocked by the great loss, and similarly are at a great loss at what to do as well, with a lack of experience and wisdom in such affairs, as it is rarely talked about as a taboo topic. Teenagers may feel that it is wrong to freely express their emotions, and they put on a mask and a facade, stowing away their true feelings and putting on a deceptive happy smile. This in fact, is even more destructive, as by hiding one’s own emotions, one is just denying the impact of the death, delaying the outpour of emotions and encouraging sudden recurring outbursts of such sadness and anger as one is unable to bring a proper closure to the matter.
For instance, I was at a loss at how to react to my father's recent stroke. This was out of the blue, and before this I presumed that my dad was in the pink of health, despite frequent snacking and a lack of exercise. I decided to keep it to myself, and hide all my concerns and worries, believing that it would be best to stay or appear strong amidst the chaos within my family, refusing to express any crack or weakening in my mental and emotional state. Needless to say, I was very affected, and I lacked concentration in my daily school life and was less conscientious in my work, and did not have the courage to confide in anyone, to reveal the storm brewing underneath the surface. In order to prevent and discourage us from running away from our problems and subsequently negatively influencing all other aspects of our lives as above-mentioned, the author instigates us to be more open about death and other matters.
On another note, the commentary has a limited point of view takes a clear slant towards teenagers being weak-hearted and pitiful. It does not consider examples of positive responses and reactions of youth towards death, and generalizes that youth are "ill-equipped- as they should be”.
My personal belief, however, is that these incidents are all part of a course of self-discovery, and it is only when we experience it ourselves and deal with it as we mature, that we may truly learn it for ourselves, just as the author has mentioned her experience of facing the death of her father. It is not something you can learn and be equipped with within a moment of time, but something that can only be learnt through trial and error, through first-hand experiences and through self-reflection. (It is like how only after Oedipus goes through pain and suffering is he finally enlightened.)
Teenagers do deal with such pain and loss, but many do it in the wrong ways, be it clamming up, or over-reacting and even 'emo'-ing, harbouring suicidal thoughts and self-inflicted pain through the slashing of wrists. That, perhaps, would be something more dangerous, and to educate teenagers about the foolishness of these acts would be a much higher priority.
